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when the balls of your feet hurt from ballet


It's around 8:30, and I"m sitting here typing this with hairspray in my hair and both my desks piled with books and papers.

I haven't had time to blog or write, because school has got me so busy with writing. AP US History isn't really reading about history, it's just writing about it. AP English has essays almost every week and """discussions"""(basically forum posting) every day. Even in Spanish, I have to compose my essays before I put them down.

It's 4/5. Already more than a fourth through the not-so-new year. Sometimes I feel like the world is getting old around me and I'm the same. More often, I sink under the sea in a blur of activity and emerge again to find that it's a week, three months, several years later, and everything has slowly changed without me realizing it, and I look back and barely recognize who I used to be.

At dance, I land double pirouettes on both sides. I do my front and back walkover every week at acro class. I no longer do the piano certificate of merit  Some people that were my best friends, who I talked to multiple times a day, I don't even know them anymore. It's a long way to go from talking to someone nonstop to when you think about them, a blank appears in your mind. Like even if you worked up the courage to send them an email, you wouldn't even know what to say.

I started this blog in 8th grade. Before I even could dance. Before I liked Ender's Game or Artemis Fowl or anime. When I had no friends and short hair.

Other things haven't changed so much. I still write on this blog and it still has the same blog design.
I like to think that life will stop being blurry when I get to college. I'll stop wandering-half asleep through life and start living. In a year from now, I will know where I'm going to college. This summer, this Christmas, will be my last summer/Christmas at a high school student. That's unbelievable. I feel like I have this huge mountain to climb of SAT tests, AP tests, college apps.

Hopefully, some things will stay the same. I'll still stubbornly type on this blog even when it's lost deep within the interwebs and not a soul reads it. I'll still hopefully have The Lakehouse even if the people on there that I talk to has changed.

And now I'll write about my day, because even though it's boring for you to read now and even more boring for me to write it, when I look back on my blog those are the posts I like the most. Because an astonishingly amount of days go by and you can't remember what happened. Do you remember what you had for dinner yesterday? Remember anything at all you did last week?

Last night, I had one of those recurring dreams that I was flying, but bogged down by a heavy weight so it took a lot of effort to stay in the air. And I was being chased by something. I was flying under some trees and the thing climbed up the tree, ran out onto the branches, and jumped on top of me. I woke up in a fright and extremely drowsy.

I had been planning to get up and run, but since I was tired, I decided against it. In the morning, I spent a lot of time scanning in work, and going to a test review session. At my Chemistry online class( the only one I go to, although I have to option to go to others), the only other people that are usually there are the teacher, and my friends Jessica and Nathaniel. I love them both although I feel guilty that it's always usually them helping me with their homework.

Anyways, we talked a little bit, and then I...I can't even remember what I did today. Wrote stuff, did math problems, took tests. At four, I went to teach my piano lesson. This is a mom who I used to teach piano to, but her son quit piano and now I'm teaching him how to read. He's very cute but slightly sassy. After, I went to Zion Market to wait for my dance classes to start and try and get free samples.

Zion is run by a bunch of Koreans who look down on non-Koreans. They speak to you in Korean, and if you don't respond, they hide the free samples. I've mastered the art of hiding in a crowd of Koreans so they have no choice but to hand you the sample along with the Koreans. I don't really like Zion anymore because of a bad experience I had with them.(Long story short, I accidentally left a bag of onions behind, the lady tried to tell me but I misunderstood because she kept messing up the checkout, and when I tried to go back for them she was really rude to me and kept rolling her eyes and sighing.)

At dance, nothing much happened except I had really bad pirouettes in the first class so I spent the second class improving them. A sub was in the advanced ballet class and so all the girls in that class ditched and came to the intermediate class, which I guess wasn't very nice of them.

And then I biked home and now I'm sitting here typing waiting for my dad to come home so we can eat dinner. I'm still working on my app for another summer program at University of Michigan. I'm also submitting one for a program at USC. I really really really hope I get into one of these programs or I don't know what I'll be doing this summer.



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