Friday, January 27, 2012

Update on life

Hi, I've been around. Just busy with everything that's been going on.

I have a new devotional called Jesus Calling, and it's really good. It reminds me to live above my circumstances and keep my eyes on God. But I keep falling back into being overwhelmed by the actually-small stresses of life. The highest order in my life should be God, but instead it's a to-do list.

Stress factors:
-School. The very first assignment this semester in Honors AmLit is a research paper. Why....And I have a debate project in Biology.

-The Lakehouse-My pet, my baby, and sometimes the bane of my existence.

-Piano. Recital in a week, and a test two weeks after that. I practice two hours a day.

-Dance. I now have a biology lab on Fridays, so I had to quit one ballet class. And I'm screwed with only one ballet class a week, so I've taken to making up in other ballet classes, but I've yet to find one that works for my schedule. And even with three, it's not enough to get to the level that I want to.

-Mission trip. I'm supposed to go to Costa Rica with my dad and my brothers over the summer, but I'm sadly out of the loop on that. I've missed one info meeting, haven't turned in my application, and money is starting to be due already. And watching I watched a blimeycow video about mission trips that has me questioning my motivation to go. I mean, I wanna go, and I wanna help people, but I also want to have fun and travel, because trips like these have lately been my only chances to leave the country.

-editing my NaNoNovel

-And Girl Scout cookies come tomorrow. I always put myself under a lot of pressure to sell a lot, and it's hard because I have to carry them around and beg people to buy them. And people ALWAYS buy them from the cute little younger girl scouts and not us. 

I think that, once this is over and this is done and I've checked off my to-do list, I can relax, but the truth is once something is off the stress list, something else comes and takes its place. That's why I have to put my peace and joy in something that DOESN'T change. I know that's God, but it's so hard with everything staring me in the face. Even though I know that it's all trivial and everything seems much more important than it is. God has to help me keep my perspective on things. Most of the time, I feel like I'm going to go crazy.

Here is some stuff which I turn to(instead of God) to temporarily deal with feeling stress-

-Drawing-I find drawing very therapeutic. I love to draw people, even though I'm no good at it.

-Dance Moms-this is a bit pathetic. But seriously, I live for those weekly 45 minutes of drama.

-Reading-This is the biggest one. I love to just get in a book and lose myself in it. It puts my problems back in perspective,  calms me down, and puts me in a good mood.

-Food- <-This is bad for you. Do not try it. But I love me some homemade brownies and nian gao.

Pray for me! I love you tons. I've been feeling bad because I haven't had a chance to talk to any of my non-TLF online friends recently. I miss talking to Abby and Qui, especially. We've got to chat sometime!



  1. take a deep breath and exhale. u'll be all right, i promise. :)

  2. I totally understand about all these things! I'm dealing with several of the same problems and dealing with them in the same way. Does that make sense?
    When I don't know what to do next, just "do the next thing". Don't worry about all the junk you have to do, just do the next thing. It helps!

  3. Prayin' for you girl :) And shoot me an email whenever you are free to Skype, 'cause I would LOVE to.

    And just so you know, I'm sure that in heaven, the Lord will give you back all the lost time you couldn't spend dancing to do it as much as you want ;)

    Love you!


Amaranthine <3's you. Thanks for the comment!