Thursday, August 18, 2011

For realz(homeschooling and the *bleck*social aspect*bleck*)


 by ssilence on Deviantart
This post is for Courtney@Storing Up Treasures "Fo' Realz" posts. 

This may sound rather harsh to people who aren't homeschooled.

We homeschool/online schoolers put up with a lot of doubters. Mostly they blab about socialization and social skills and a whole ton of other related stuff that they don't usually talk about(No one comes home from public school saying "Gee whiz, I got so much socialization today!")

And it's true, somewhat. A lot of us don't have best friends or even a best friend. A lot of us don't go out to the movies or to the mall. And sometimes we don't have anyone to talk to about stuff we like or when we feel sad.

Normally, I lament about it. But I was thinking that maybe it's okay.

I'm not saying I don't need friends. Of course I do. But I think that besides lowering peer pressure, the unique(not nonexistent, mind you) socialization(blech I hate that word) aspect of homeschooling shapes homeschoolers to become more confident and independent.

People who grow up surrounded by friends sometimes wonder who they would be without their friends. And when they're separated from their friends they wonder who they are.

Some people would do anything for friends. Being friendless is the worst thing that could ever happen to them. And sometimes they give in to people who take advantage of them or are terrible friends. Because to them, nothing is worse than being alone.

Homeschoolers have friends. We just aren't drowning in them. We see them sometimes. We have different groups of friends for each activity(church friends, school friends, etc.) We don't see them all the time or every day. We may go for weeks without emailing them, calling them, or seeing them at all.

It's true that homeschooling often means being alone at times. But maybe that's not so bad. Before we go out into the world, we need to have a strong sense of who we are. And nothing  helps that more than separating from the influences of friends and enemies and discovering yourself.  And sometimes, I won't have friends. That's just life. I may decide to stand up for your beliefs sometime in the future when it's unpopular. Sometimes standing up for your beliefs may mean sacrificing friends. Learning to stand on your own for a short time isn't a bad thing.



  1. Awesome post! Do you mind if I copy it over to my blog?

  2. Wow. Great post girl! ;)

    I agree. The majority of my friends are on the internet. :P But if I go tell a bunch of public schoolers that, I'm a freak who doesn't know how to talk to humans. xD

    I have friends. I've got my best friends, Chibi and Maryanna, who I talk to, text, and see semi-regularly. Maryanna is my best homeschooling friend. I don't see her EVERY day, but we do email and text often. ;) I normally see her once a week. Twice if we run into each other at Chick-Fil-A. xD

    But that doesn't mean we're not best friends. We're really good friends, and we love hanging out. When one of us goes to the other's house for an hour it ends up six hours later we're heading home, not wanting to leave yet. xD

    There is nothing wrong with being alone sometimes. How can you talk to God if you're CONSTANTLY surrounded by people? I need peace and quiet sometimes, away from my friends and away from my family too occasionally. (mainly my sister. XD) :)

    I agree with you, it makes us independent. It makes us smart. We're not drowning in peer pressure or always worrying about what others think. I like that. I don't mind not having friends sometimes. I like being able to talk to my sisters on TLF anytime though. That's very helpful. ;)

    JC <3

  3. This was likely a hard post to write. Good for you. A honest look at a hot topic! Lol!

    I have wrestled with the 'friend' issue, and my children are in public school.

    Blessings to you. Stick with your gut, it's where that good old 'belt of truth' sits. :)

  4. Wonderful post!! I completely agree with you. I'd rather have a few great friends that I don't see very often rather than a bunch of people that I call "friends" and see every day.

  5. Great post. I was homeschooled for many years, too. After five years I went back to public high school for one year. Just because you go to a building with hundreds of other people every doesn't mean you "have friends."

    Thanks for speaking up.

  6. WOW. Great post, it really touched me to know I'm not the only one. I, too, don't have very many friends at all. Outside of the few girls from church and my sister, I don't have any friends in real life. The few other friends I have are from the Internet. But you are so right--it does help in not having so much peer pressure. Thanks for writing about this.

    ~Jamie Joyce

  7. Great post. I've never been homeschooled, but I love the points you've made here. One of the things I don't like about school is how dependent most people are with their friends -- "escort me to my locker; I can't walk to class by myself" --, so I especially agreed with that.

  8. As a newbie homeschool mom this encourages me that I might not be ruining my children's social life after all :)

  9. That's is so true!! And even for me, going part time at a local high school, I only had few good friends. I knew everyone in the school. (only 300 kids in my high school.) And now that I have moved to AZ, I miss everybody, but I am so used to being alone at home with hardly any socialization, besides facebook lol

    Great post!

  10. As a homeschooler, I completely understand and agree.

    -Ley <3

  11. My dad has always told me that all you need is two or three good friends, then a whole bunch of people who are superficial friends.

    I'm not homeschooled, but I go to private school which, sad to say, is filled with a bunch of superficial people who sometimes care a little bit too much about material things.

    I have a few friends at my school and one TRUE friend that is always for me and with me and were both SW geeks! XD

    I have a younger sister who is one of the mist social people in the world. Constantly texting people, skyping them, (she's not allowed to have a facebook, but has made a couple of accounts anyway), always getting invited places and always invites people places. And then there's me, sitting there alone in my room reading. It has made me depressed many times. But then I realized that the more friends you have, or should I say "friends", equals DRAMA!

    And I hate drama, unless it's on a stage! My sister has been involved in lots of drama in her lifetime.

    So I'm glad you don't give into the peer pressure and have accepted the fact that it's OK not to have so many friends! Never be discouraged! Love you!
    -Rachel (Queen Karina)

  12. Nice post!

    Even though I'm public schooled, I completely understand/agree.


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