Skip to main content

A post where I just talk.

Perhaps you do not know about the Amaranthine Forever post process. I love to write blog posts, but I need something to kickstart it. It is usually an event, but can also be an idea. The problem with getting ideas for posts is that I have a lot of ideas, but they need to be extremely good, so good that they're just begging me to write them and I can't ignore them.


I still have a lot of post ideas. They are good, but they are not putting the urgency on my soul that they normally have.


So here's a post where I just talk.




Hi.


Some days I just feel so clumsy and awkward, like I'm always saying the wrong thing to everybody, and making mistakes and being stupid and stubborn and causing everyone to hate me. I'm also very opinionated(headdesk). I like to believe that I'm the right one, my opinion is the only one that makes sense, "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, it's just that their opinions are stupid",  which makes me a good blogger but a terrible friend. I have to check myself and make myself more open minded and less I don't know, dictator-like.


I have to watch myself, because I LOVE to give advice and tell people what to do, but I'm sure I drive everybody crazy doing it.


I wish I was good at everything. And this is literal. I wish I was good at everything. Because then I would be famous and people would like me.


I care about what people think of me. I wish everyone would like me. I know that's impossible, but when people are mad at me, even when it's not my fault, I hate it. Even if they're three years old, a jerk, a troll, a mean old lady who hates everybody, I want them to at least like me.

FYI-Being opinionated and stubborn, and also insecure, is a bad combination.

I read the Great Gatsby. Really good book. I dislike every single character in it, but it's a good book still.

I am allergic to spending my money. Seriously. My parents are very careful about their money and it's passed on to us. Both me and my brothers don't buy thing on a regular basis. (Except if it's books from the used library bookstore, and then it's like 25 cents a book.) I could bet you that my brothers haven't spent a dime in  the last six months, and I'd probably be right.

And no, it's not because our parents buy everything for us. It's because I can't find anything to spend money on. I always feel that everything is way to expensive for what it's worth. And I'm so alien to just the usual process of spending money, that buying anything feels unnatural. It's true that the best things in life(books and the internet) are free.


School's almost out, and then Winter Break! I'm looking forward to Christmas this year because my favorite people in the world, my cousins (Capt. Tarpals is one of them, you might have seen him around here) are coming.


This year we're asking for monetary donations toward our mission trip(which is a bummer, especially since I haven't figured out where I want to go.) So I might buy presents for myself. I would buy presents for other people, but I can't figure out what to get them, since half the Christmas presents I get and receive end up broken or sitting useless on a shelf, and I don't want that.



Oh, and I also have a secret santa for my favorite person I'm not related to. I want to get her something spectacularly awesome, but I don't know what. She's seventeen years old and an amazing person, hilarious, a great artist, and really great to be around. I'd like to get her like, a bar of gold or something.


This post is so rambly.......

I'm going to do a "Top 12 Things I'm looking forward to in 2012" post for new years.


Gift suggestions, anyone?


Love,
Amaranthine

Comments

  1. I'm the exact same way. I can't stand when I feel as if someone is upset at me, or at something that I did. Sometimes I feel as if people are upset at me just because I perceive their voice as containing an iota of irritation.
    I'm typically wrong, just for the record. I read into things too much.

    But anyways, I know how you feel.

    I wish I had gift suggestions, but I'm not exactly adept at buying gifts for people without asking them first. Unless they're a Star Wars fan or appreciate crazy-looking hats, of course. Then it's simply a matter of getting to a store.

    That's a whole other problem all together. :-)

    -Barriss =) (I think Blogger doesn't like me. I can't sign in.)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm terrible at buying gifts. xD Ihave to buy a gift for the guy I'm dating and I have ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE what to do. I mean I can't even think about what to get my best friend, let alone a guy.

    and don't worry Amaranthine, I like you. :) You're my best internet friend in the entire world.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I like you. I get you. I wish I wasn't a money spender. I mean, I'm not a spendaholic, but somehow, my money always ends up disappearing. I've been trying to work on this... ;)
    ~Lauren

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love you.

    I wish I could hang out with you on a daily basis.

    I also wish I had gift suggestions, but I don't. Anything heartfelt suffices, though. Handmade is also special <3 (Like cookies!!!!! :D :D :D)

    Here's a hug that I wish I could walk up and give you in real life.... *HUG*.

    Thank you for a lovely, lovely, rambly post.

    love ya girlfriend <3

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Amaranthine <3's you. Thanks for the comment!

Popular posts from this blog

(fangirl flapping of arms and running around in circles) (eee) (ignore this)(spoilers for Son of Neptune)

my fangirl obsessions go in cycles...this week, it's totally Heroes of Olympus/Percy Jackson(again)

There's this amazing artist on deviantart...burdge-bug...who does AMAZING Percy Jackson, Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Maximum Ride, and even HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE fanart. Now, we need to get her to read Artemis Fowl...XD.

Anyways, here are some of my favorites of hers.

eeeeeeeeeeeeee
I kind of want to pull a Ms. Black and blast Jason right off the tapestry. There's some speculation to whether or not Annabeth will be on the Argo II. I kind of don't want her to be, so Nico can join instead. Then again, if Nico is already in Rome(as speculated at the end of Neptune) there's still room.  GAH RR WHY MUST YOU TORMENT US SO



































love this scene...Senatus Populusque Romanus FTW.

Which do you think is cooler? Camp Half Blood or Camp Jupiter? Camp Jupiter definitely has a more efficient way of doing things(separating by cohort instead of parentage, sending large groups instead o…

Ciel Phantomhive vs. Artemis Fowl

Don't laugh. XD
The similarities between the two characters are so distinct and obvious that comparison is inevitable for anyone who's read/watched both series. I seriously thought when I first noticed Black Butler(more popularly referred to as Kuroshitsuji) that it was literally an anime adaption of Artemis Fowl.  Other people have read Artemis Fowl and thought "CIEL HAS A CLONE??!?"
So I thought I'd outline some of the differences and analyze who would win. XD
Similarities:
Appearance:  This is the first similarity, and one of the most major, because if they didn't look so darn alike I don't think the comparison would have been as striking. The above picture of Artemis is a fanart, because there aren't really any good pictures of Artemis, and the manga style makes it more obvious. They are both from the British Isles and have black hair and blue eyes. Both of them lose/change/switch an eye resulting in two different colors. 
Circumstance: They both s…

updates on life(aka excuses to post tumblr gifs)

If I had to describe my life in one word right now, it'd be cold. Brr.


Let's see..what's happening?

I got my back bend kickover from le ground in acro. It's awesome. :) I never thought I'd be able to do it XD

Of course, it's not with straight legs(yet). And I don't hit my splits in the middle. Come to think of it, it's actually sort of a back flop-over.



I read Skeleton Key and Eagle Strike(next two Alex Rider books) last night. The series has gotten better, but it still has the same problems. Just like Suzanne Collins makes the simplest events seem chilling and scary, the numerous random deaths in Alex Rider are just like "meh...whatever."

They all still have similar plots. Such as:

1. The book opens with some sort of mysterious circumstance. Usually an assasination or an exchange where one of the members gets stabbed in the back(sometimes literal, sometimes not) and killed. Either way, someone usually dies.
2. Alex Rider is hanging out drinkin…