Chill day

Hey guys-

Since I've had so many uberposts, I thought today we'd just chill with quotes. After all, there's no school today.

Random quotes collected from all over the EU:

"Oh, well. Just another boring day saving the universe."

―Obi-Wan Kenobi^[src]

indeed......................

Tahiri: "That's funny." 
Corran: "Funny ha ha or funny we're about to die?"
―Tahiri Veila and Corran Horn, sizing up the situation on Yuuzhan'tar^[src] 
Both

Fi: "You can live without an arm, they can always bolt on a new one." 
Boss: "What about my head? 
Fi: "Like I said, they can always replace nonessential parts." 
Boss: "I love this guy. He'll make such great target practice."
―RC-8015 ("Fi") and RC-1138 ("Boss") banter^[src

There's a new target born every minute.

Tahiri: "Remember, you're supposed to be training me. What does the wise Jedi do in a situation like this?"

Corran: "The wise Jedi avoids situations like this."

Tahiri: "Oh. I don't guess I know any wise Jedi, then. Very disillusioning."

Corran: "Right. And that's your lesson for the day—don't hang on to your illusions."

Tahiri: "I was hoping more for a crash course in 'how to kick butt when you're outnumbered thirty to two.' "

Corran: "Well, if you're going to be picky about what I teach…"

— Tahiri Veila and Corran Horn, being attacked by Yuuzhan Vong^[src

ooookayyy................now what?

"You know impossible is what Rogue Squadron does best of all."
―Corran Horn, to Admiral Ackbar^[src]

yep!

I-5YQ: "See that landspeeder parked behind you?"

Den Dhur: "Yes."

I-5YQ: "Call it the past."

Den Dhur: "Why?"

I-5YQ: "Because it's behind you. See that trash bin ahead of you? That's the future."

Den Dhur: "For you, maybe. I try to be more optimistic."

future in the existential sense, of course

2JTJ: "Master Tahl! Please slow down! I must assist!"

Tahl: "Get lost! I'm in a hurry!"

2JTJ: "I cannot get lost, sir. I'm a navigation droid."

i love this one

"Time for blaster safety lesson #1... Pointing a blaster at me isn't safe."
―Plourr Ilo^[src]

Jacen: "Don't you get it? You're exactly what I want to be when I grow up." Anakin: what, dead? Jacen: "You know what I mean." —Jacen Solo and Anakin Solo's Force ghost^[src]

yes we certainly do! too bad.........

Jaina: "Jag, do you even know how to use a lightsaber?"

Jag: "I know Lesson One. Don't grab the glowy end."

―Jaina Solo, to Jagged Fel, on Kashyyyk during the Second Galactic Civil War^[src]

"glowy end"??????

Kyle: "I'm no Jedi. I'm just a guy with a lightsaber and a few questions."

Red-Eye: "Of course. Many peoples have them."

Kyle: "Lightsabers?"

Red-Eye: "Questions."

―Kyle Katarn and Red-Eye Baldarek^[src]

"phew"

"It's always nice to meet new people and make new enemies."

―Mara Jade^[src]

Like you have any trouble with that.

Zayne: "Wait a minute. You stole that ship?"

Gryph: "Me? Steal a ship? What kind of person do you think I am? I hired someone to steal a ship."

―Zayne Carrick and Marn Hierogryph, on Ralltiir^[src]

very noble of you..........

"Pretty. What do we blow up first?"

―Myn Donos, to Wedge Antilles^[src]

very pretty indeed.

Door: "State your business."

Qui-Gon: "I would like to speak with Captain Neg."

Door: "Captain Neg does not wish to see you."

Qui-Gon: "I have little tolerance for model Dx5 security doors."

Door: "You are incorrect." [laser batteries emerge] "I am a model Dz5 with improved defenses!"

— Qui-Gon Jinn, angering a security door^[src]

gotta improve your knowledge of technology there.....

Janson: "Red Two, this is Red Three. Am I crazy, or is the general doing what he tells us never to do?"

Tycho: "Three, Two. Yes you are, and yes he is. Pay no attention."

―Wes Janson and Tycho Celchu, about Wedge Antilles^[src]

just a regular day in Rogue squadron

"Your orders are simple. I punch. You suffer. Got it?"

―Wes Janson, to Thanaer ke Sekae^[src]

SIR YES SIR!

"Jedi Horn! Is it true you're on a destructive rampage?"

―Galaxy 9 News reporter, to Valin Horn^[src]

"Jedi Horn! Is it true you're taking your lightsaber and cutting me in half?"

"Hi, guys! Come to disarm me, have ya? Hey, that's terrific!" ―Audio component of an Ugnaught-planted bomb on Cloud City^[src]

oookkkayy.......

Nom Anor: "We are dead, don't you understand? Tsavong Lah will slaughter us."

Vergere: "Ever the optimist. You assume we'll live out the hour."

―Nom Anor and Vergere, as Jacen Solo destroys their seedship^[src]

lifetimes are very short in the Yuuzhan Vong War

"A master of defense is one who is never in the place that is attacked."

―Vergere^[src]

you said it, vergere!

"Surrender. It will hurt less."

―Dhidal Nyz^[src]

it certainly would....

"Orders not backed by force are only suggestions, Jacen Solo."

―Vergere, to Jacen Solo^[src]

uh-huh

"Poor little Solo. Do you ever get embarrassed at being so thoroughly and consistently mistaken?"

―Vergere, to Jacen Solo^[src]

i couldn't have said it better myself.

"Shouldn't a Jedi, who respects the Force created by all living beings, be a vegetarian?"

―A rather determined anonymous reporter bugs Jaina Solo, even after the others disperse

EXACTLY!!!!!! wait........vegetables live too.

"It's a good thing your father isn't a Jedi. Han Solo with Force powers would be a very frightening thing."

―Jagged Fel to Jaina Solo^[src]

somebody get this picture out of my head FAST!

Oviedo: "This is madness!"

Theta Squadron captain: "No—this is war!"

same thing.

"Jacen, I love you. But sit down, shut up, and do as you're told."

―Han Solo to Jacen Solo^[src]

Han's failed attempt at stopping the Second Galactic Civil War./

would that someone said that to him more often........

Jacen: "MCCC, this is Farmboy One. This is an emergency. We require an immediate response!"

Danni: "What's the emergency?"

Jacen: "We're out of blue milk."

— Jacen Solo, lying to Danni Quee about communications failure^[src]

OH NO!!!!!! *gasp*

"I must say that the two of you belong to the most interesting family."

―Admiral Traest Kre'fey to Jaina and Jacen Solo^[src]

that's an understatement.

Corran: "No. We explain nothing to Daala. That would imply the Order answers to her—and the day that happens, you're going to have a lot more than apprentices resigning."

Saba: "Massster Horn is correct. The Jedi Order is no thedyklae herd. We are shartuukz."

Kyp: "Uh, sure. What's a shartuuk?"

Saba: "A guard beast. It protects the lair from zo'oxi and tarnoggz." Kyp: "Oh, that explains it. And zo'oxi and tarnoggs are what, exactly?" Saba: "Alwayz hungry. Like any tyrant." Kyp: "Ah—of course. We can't explain to Daala. We're the shartuuks, and she's the zo'oxi." Saba: "Tarnogg. Zo'oxi are skin parasitez. The shartuukz eat them off." Kyp: "I don't know. Zo'oxi sounds like a pretty good description of most of the politicians I've—"

— Jedi Masters Corran Horn, Saba Sebatyne, and Kyp Durron, relating the Jedi Order's political position with the Galactic Alliance to thedyklae, shartuuks, tarnoggs, and zo'oxi^[src]

 I wonder if  Omas has such a entertaining time with the senate.

 Scorch: "How old is Skirata?"

Sev: "Sixty, sixty-one, something like that."

Scorch: "What's that in clone years?"

Sev: "Dead."

―Scorch and Sev, on the age of Kal Skirata^[src]

yep.

"Sir, you're interrupting my killing spree."

―RC-1207 ("Sev"), as Boss moves into his line of fire^[src]

Boss: pardon me  (turns and runs) AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!